Charles Sykes proposed these rules in his book "Dumbing Down America." They've been floating around the Internet, attributed to Bill Gates. They usually appear with 11 rules, minus three that the original author wrote.
Rule number one: Life isn't fair. Become accustomed to it. The average adolescent says "It's not fair" 8.6 times per day. You got it from your parents, who said it so frequently that you assumed they were the most idealistic generation ever. They realised Rule No. 1 when they started hearing it from their own children.
Rule No. 2: The real world will not be as concerned with your self-esteem as your school will be. It will expect you to do something before you can feel good about yourself. This may come as a surprise. When kids' inflated self-esteem collides with reality, they usually complain that it's not fair. (Refer to Rule No. 1)
Rule No. 3: You won't be making $40,000 per year right away.
Rule #4: If you think your teacher is difficult, wait until you get a boss. He lacks tenure, so he is a little more edgy. When you make a mistake, he will not ask you how you feel about it.
Rule No. 5: It is not beneath your dignity to flip burgers. Burger flipping was referred to differently by your grandparents. It was dubbed "opportunity." They were not ashamed to work for minimum wage. They would have been embarrassed to spend the entire weekend talking about Kurt Cobain.
It's not your parents' fault, according to Rule No. 6. You are accountable if you make a mistake. This is the inverse of "It's my life," "You're not my boss," and other eloquent declarations from your generation.
Rule No. 7: Your parents were not as boring before you were born as they are now. They earned it by paying your bills, cleaning your room, and listening to you brag about how idealistic you are. Before you save the rain forest from the blood-sucking parasites of your parents' generation, try delousing your bedroom wardrobe.
Rule No. 8: Your school may no longer have winners and losers. Life hasn't changed. Some schools will give you as many chances as you need to get the correct answer. To avoid hurting anyone's feelings, failing grades and class valedictorians have been abolished. Effort is just as important as outcomes. This, of course, bears no resemblance to anything in the book.
Rule number ten: Television is not real life. Your life does not resemble a sitcom. Your problems will not be solved in 30 minutes, minus commercial time. In reality, people must leave the coffee shop to go to work. Your pals will not be as perky or as adaptable as Jennifer Aniston.
Nerds should be treated with respect. You may find yourself working for them. We could all do it.
No. 12: Smoking does not make you appear cool. It makes you appear stupid. Watch out for an 11-year-old with a butt in his mouth the next time you're out cruising. Anyone over the age of 20 thinks you look like that. The same can be said for "expressing yourself" with purple hair and/or pierced body parts.
Rule 13: You are not invincible. (See also Rule No. 12.) If you think living fast, dying young, and leaving a beautiful corpse is romantic, you haven't seen one of your peers at room temperature in a long time.
Rule 14: Make the most of it while you can. Sure, parents are a pain, school is a chore, and life is bleak. But you'll realise how wonderful it was to be a kid one day. Perhaps you should begin now. You're very welcome.
Comments
Post a Comment